I was having a great conversation with a young chiropractor last week. He’s growing his practice, he wants to scale it, he’s got two other companies that he’s growing, and he’s on the path to success in his career. I asked him, “Have you had these real conversations, going there with the people on your team to align their goals and visions as well?” 

I learned this term, and the skill of “going there” with people on my team and in my life, from my very good friend and mentor, Jeff Lesher. 

Going there really helps us understand and create common ground with the people on our team and in our lives—a very important soft skill that will help us get the things we want in life as well. 

So, how do we develop these soft skills? 

First and foremost, it’s about developing your emotional intelligence. Every single day, we’re having conversations with people in our lives and on our team. 

You can reflect on those conversations. Where could I have done better? Especially in those conversations where we have apprehension, where we’re nervous about going there with some topic of conversation with people on our team or in our lives. 

How did we do in those conversations? Did we show up with authenticity? Did we show up with curiosity? Reflect on that and then always try to do better the next time. Follow up on those conversations if you feel it’s necessary. 

Secondly, it’s about being adaptable. Not every single person relates to the same communication style. Some people like tough love, some people want soft love, and some people might need something completely different. 

While I’ve learned to be fair in how I treat my team, I’ve also learned to adapt my communication style and my coaching style to help them get the best results in their lives. 

Lastly, it’s about conflict resolution. Now, if we’ve hired the right people, we don’t have much of this in our companies or practices, but sometimes conflicts occur, and we need to be good at conflict resolution. 

This is an important soft skill. How do we do that? 

First and foremost, you set boundaries. You set the ground rules before even having the conversation. Secondly, you make sure to ask the right questions to find common ground with both people, or the group of people, that you want to talk to, to establish peace and harmony. Then lastly, you let them work out the details for resolution. 

They’re coming up with the solution. It’s not a top-down approach; it’s a team approach that finds solutions to the conflict. 

So, again, it’s about building our emotional intelligence, being adaptable, and being good at conflict resolution. These are some of the most critical soft skills that we can have as leaders and as humans. 

That’s this week’s Two Minute Drill. Have a great week, and I’ll talk to y’all next week.